bottled utopia

hawky hawk hawk!

2011-10-21T16:36:00.002-05:00

(click to see entire comic)

I love red tailed hawks! That is really how I look when I see them.

Also, from this point on, my comics can be found at Pantsmachine Comics. Which means I probably will update this blog almost never, unless I start painting again. Which I should. When I get more time. Or inspiration. Or something.

butttttttttttttttttttttttt

2011-10-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am one of the most mature people on this planet.

Also, anyone who sees these comics but not my paintings will probably think I'm a terrible artist. I can't draw a straight line to save my life.

Also, if from these comics it seems like I'm on my laptop a lot, it's because I am.

the silence comic

2011-10-07T09:53:00.001-05:00

Confession: I'm not entirely sure how to draw Alan Shore as a cartoon. He ended up looking like he could pass as the 10th Doctor.

floating

2011-10-06T22:09:00.001-05:00

In the middle of the summer I went north to swim in beautiful, pristine lakes, and I noticed when I floated on my back with my eyes closed, everything around me fell away, including all of the stress in my mind and body. To be perfectly honest, it felt like I was in a womb. And it was wonderful. I can only hope that this painting marks the end of the most stressful months of my life, or at least the beginning of finding strength and serenity.

rooooooooar!

2011-09-17T00:37:00.000-05:00

I don't know how to constructively release anger, so I made a comic in response to an event in my life that is infuriating me.

chiiiiipmunk

2011-09-16T00:48:00.002-05:00

click to make larger

I finally made another comic. I've decided to do a series of comics about why I love the forest. I'm still experimenting with different techniques and styles. This one I drew in my sketchbook, took a picture of, then colored in Photoshop. I probably should have tried harder to make straight lines. Maybe.

ba-man

2011-09-09T17:46:00.000-05:00

The only productive thing I did on my day off was find a Batman coloring book and color in it.

sew sew sew

2011-08-02T16:38:00.002-05:00

(click to enlarge)

And here is the new camera case. It's been ages since I've sewn an object, so my craftsmanship wasn't the best, but it still serves its purpose.

maybe face bump is more accurate

2011-07-25T23:27:00.003-05:00

(click to make larger)

After making the last comic, I was totally pumped to make more, but then I went on vacation and couldn't make them, and when I returned I was like, "I don't even like line drawing -- why would I make comics?" Well, okay, I don't like line drawing in Photoshop (it's totally unsatisfying for me as an artist, and it seems to take forever to make a nice line), but I do enjoy it quite a bit with ink and paper. But I don't have paper, and I don't have a scanner. So tonight I experimented a little bit in Photoshop... Maybe I wouldn't mind line drawing if I didn't have to neaten up the lines? It wasn't too bad. We'll see.

manbutt

2011-07-17T09:48:00.006-05:00

I've decided I'm going to start doing comics based on happenings or thoughts in my day-to-day life. Since deciding this, I've been flooded with ideas -- now I just have to figure out technical things like... will it just be lines? Will there be color? How realistic versus cartoony will it be? Most importantly, what will I look like?

I haven't really drawn comics since high school, when I would use them to make fun of my friends, and also I made crappy cartoons for the high school newspaper. (Funny story. After I graduated high school, the local newspaper in my little hometown contacted me and asked me to do political cartoons for them. I didn't really want to do it, but my journalism teacher encouraged me to. I made one comic, they turned it down, and I gave up after that.)

Okay, so it's not so much comic as it is a line drawing with words on it. I downloaded a font to use because my handwriting is atrocious, but I also think that sometimes handwriting is more endearing than fonts. I don't know. I will explore.

sketchin'

2011-07-14T16:49:00.002-05:00

I have been sketching a lot and enjoying it thoroughly. Mostly a lot of hands, but here is one of the figures. I also got a ukulele, which I have been pouring a lot of my creative self into. I am in love with it. I'd sleep with it in my arms if that would be at all comfortable.

masked rabbit woman

2011-06-30T10:22:00.003-05:00

I usually try to stay away from obvious symbolism, but I couldn't help myself. There was something that had to be expressed.

I want to explain the meaning, but one of my biggest pet peeves is when artists explain their paintings. :)

steller's jay

2011-06-13T19:59:00.004-05:00

Now, we all know I like painting bird ladies, but they are usually ladies with birds or ladies with vague birdlike characteristics. I've decided to do a series of paintings of women based on a specific species of birds. First up: steller's jay.

This was so so so much fun to paint, and I am so so so excited to paint more bird ladies. I am obsessed!

(And if you must ask, this is also for sale. For however much you want to give me. It's a small watercolor.)

oh, look, a bird. what a surprise

2011-06-10T10:20:00.003-05:00

Aaaaaand here's some new art! I spent way too long on this. Feathers, omg. I painted it listening to the new Fleet Foxes album, which I am totally in love with. I'm trying to limit the number of times I listen to it per day so I don't get sick of it right away as I tend to do with most other music. But I would really get into the flow of it while I was painting this, and when the album ended I would just stop and think, "Now what?" I tried to find other music that could continue the flow, but always ended up putting Fleet Foxes back on.

for sale!

2011-06-09T20:25:00.008-05:00

I desperately need to lighten my load of paintings before I move. I would be very sad if all of my paintings ended up being stored in my mom's basement. So, since this is more to give my art a good home and less about making money, I am selling these for $25 a piece, unless otherwise noted. This is ridiculously affordable, so you should take advantage of this offer if you want some art to brighten up your life. If you are interested in purchasing a piece and you feel it is worth more than $25, by all means give me whatever you think I deserve. I accept payment by Paypal, unless I know you personally, then you can pay me however you like. If you live in or near Milwaukee, you can pick it up, and if you live elsewhere please contact me for shipping costs.

E-mail me if you're interested in purchasing any of these or if you have any questions. rakeuler @ gmail.com I will be updating this list pretty consistently over the next couple weeks, so be sure to check back! Thanks!

6x9 in, ink and watercolor on paper ($15)

8 x 10 in, ink and watercolor on paper ($15)

10 x 14 in, acrylics and string on canvas

11 x 15 in, watercolor on paper ($15)

9 x 12 in, acrylics on canvas

12 x 16 in, acrylics and buttons on canvas

16 x 20 in, mixed media (acrylic, paper, thread) on canvas

12 x 18 in, mixed media (acrylics, paper) on canvas board

12 x 18 in, mixed media (acrylic, paper) on canvas board

16 x 24 in, acrylics and buttons on canvas

14 x 18 in, acrylics on canvas board (This one also has a nice frame that can come with it for an additional price... However, I'm strangely attached to this one even though it's been in a coffee shop for the past 2-3 years. So I'm going so say $50 for just the piece and $80 with frame.)

~~18 x 24 mixed media (acrylics, paper, fabric) on canvas board (This one also comes with a shabby chic frame. It's a large piece, so it's $40 with the frame.)~~ sold!

bird woman

2011-06-02T10:31:00.002-05:00

A coworker invited me to an art night at her friend's house, which basically consists of a bunch of artists getting together and working on their own art. It was an unfamiliar concept to me, since art tends to be a very solitary thing for me. I can see the appeal to working among others, since you can get their feedback easily and it's nice to hang out with others. But I think I still prefer working alone because then I can allow myself to fall into the creative flow.

Anyway! Here's what I painted:

This bird lady has been in my head for months and months, but wasn't coming out very easily. I'm happy she's out, although the pose is kind of strange, and the boobs are weird. I wasn't in the mood for painting nipples among people I had just met. :)

tardis sweet tardis

2011-05-18T22:57:00.004-05:00

A few months ago, I stumbled upon some cross stitch fabric at Goodwill. While I'm typically an embroidery type of gal, at the time I was inspired by the silly Charlie Sheen cross stitches on the web, so I snatched it off the shelf. However, by the time I got home, I didn't really like the idea of creating something Sheen-esque to put on my wall. So I decided to make a gift for my Doctor Who loving sister-in-law's birthday.

At first stitching all those little blue stitches brought me to a place somewhere between madness and meditation -- I decided after finishing this I'd just go back to freehand embroidery, rather than limiting myself to little squares. I kept thinking, Why didn't I just cut out a rectangle of felt and embroider it on? Then it would take 15 minutes instead of days and days and days. But this project really helped me keep my sanity at work. See, I started it the first day after I had been switched to a zone at work which contains no windows. You throw me in a windowless cubicle and I am not a happy camper. This creative, colorful outlet has been a delightful distraction from the gray cube.

Needless to say, I bought some more cross stitching fabric today. I am hooked. It helps that this is one of the cheapest hobbies on the face of the earth. I was looking at the needlework on Flickr for inspiration, and I saw this Alphonse Mucha cross stitch, and it is oh-so beautiful. I would attempt it if I knew there was even a vague possibility I had the sticktoitiveness to finish it.

P.S. The Tardis Sweet Tardis design is not my own, but it's been done so many times that I hardly know who to give credit to.

P.P.S. Despite the fact that I always give people gifts long after the occasion has passed, my sister-in-law got this today, only a mere few weeks after her birthday! And she and my brother love it. I am happy!

artists and their silly little struggles

2011-04-30T09:50:00.004-05:00

I'm not really sure what happened to my creativity. I'm not really blocked, per se, as I still have ideas coming to me, I just don't have the desire to create. Which is kind of terrifying. So much of my identity comes from being an artist -- who am I if I do not paint?

So I made myself paint, much like I would make myself do homework. I painted it while listening to Argentinian music, which may show in my brush strokes. I wanted to play with the contours of the human body, and the relationship between object and negative space. (I hate when artists spew out crap like this, but that really is what I was my intention! Trust me!) I'm not so sure about the red with the yellow. It kind of looks like I painted with ketchup and mustard. (Yum.)

Anyway, I arted, so there you go. Maybe I will art some more. I have been working on a cross-stitch, but it is a top secret project that I won't be able to post until the end of May. So...expect that in a few weeks!

art art art show!

2011-04-15T15:45:00.004-05:00

The opening reception for my art show at the Tool Shed is tonight 5-9 PM. Come check it out if you have a chance, otherwise it will be there a couple months! Get something nice for yourself while you're at the Tool Shed, too. Seriously, it's one of my favorite businesses in Milwaukee, and I'm honored to have my art there.

silk and skin

2011-03-26T11:31:00.003-05:00

I painted this for a show I am going to have at the Tool Shed for Milwaukee's Gallery Night and Day April 15th and 16th. It's going to be an erotic-themed show, since the Tool Shed is an erotic boutique. This has been a pretty good push to get me involved with my art again.

This painting was heavily, heavily inspired by Death in the Sandman comic book series by Neil Gaiman (it's not the first time Sandman has inspired me to paint). I used Marcus J Ranum's stock as a reference for the figure. I wanted there to be a Chinese dragon tattoo crawling up her arm, but I'm no tattoo designer, so I couldn't get it to look right. I'm still pleased with the image. :)

i apparently am not good at getting people their presents on time

2011-03-10T21:36:00.006-06:00

Last year, my friend Jess and I decided that for our birthdays, which are two days apart in August, she would make me earrings, and I would paint her paintings. She gave me the earrings on my birthday, and I gave her the paintings...four days ago. Fortunately, she was incredibly patient with me. The first four months that I didn't paint them it was pure procrastination, but the two months after that I was actually having a difficult time figuring out a theme and concept for the paintings. See, we got three canvases -- one tall one and two square ones -- and I wanted to find a way to make a scene that would flow between all the canvases. I ended up having to scrap that idea just because it was frustrating me too much, and I couldn't find a way to make it work. Anyway, I ended up finding inspiration and made some very minimalistic and serene paintings:

The clouds were my favorite to paint. I ought to paint clouds more often. I gave the paintings to Jess on Sunday, and she seemed to like them, so I am glad. Happy belated birthday! Got you your present only 6 months late.

Also, the other day I realized I never posted the dinosaur hat I made for my boyfriend for Christmas... or wait, I think I intended to make it for him for his birthday in October, but didn't end up giving it to him until the week after Christmas. After I made it for him and took the picture of myself wearing it, I wondered why I make things for him that will make me embarrassed to be around him in public:

(All the spikes are even, just one is flopping to the side a little in the picture)

And since I haven't posted in a while, here is a picture of the cat I live with sleeping on my bed:

She is like a fat seal.

red fox

2011-02-09T17:34:00.004-06:00

I've been working on a series of paintings that I was supposed to make for a friend for her birthday...in August...but in between painting those I made a fox painting!

(Please excuse the glare off the painting. I had to use the light of the setting sun.)

It was more an "oh-my-god-I-really-need-to-make-some-brushstrokes-on-a-canvas-and-get-this-color-out-of-me" painting than a "I'm-going-to-paint-a-totally-realistic-looking-fox" painting. I decoupaged some tissue paper on the canvas before painting because I like me some texture.

What's funny though is that during the couple days I was working on this I saw a red fox. Yesterday morning I was walking to the bus stop at 6:30 AM, and I saw a black cat and a big orange cat sitting on the sidewalk ahead of me, staring each other down. When the orange cat saw me, it took off in the other direction, and I realized it was not a cat, it was a red fox. I so wanted to follow it and see where it went (yes, this what I do when I get excited about animals), but I didn't want to miss my bus. This was actually the second time I've seen the fox in my neighborhood -- last time was in the fall, again when I was going to catch my 6:30 AM bus. The perks of working early in the morning, I guess.

watercolor experiments

2011-01-19T06:51:00.002-06:00

So I bought a lot of salt that I ended up not needing (long story), and I thought what better way to use it than for making textures in watercolor? (I also played around more with masking medium because I'm still trying to figure it out. It seems like more of a frustration than anything.)

And then I decided to draw a face on it with ink.

winter and watercolor and rocks

2011-01-12T17:33:00.006-06:00

Usually during the winter, due to cold and seasonal affective disorder, I just want to hibernate, withdraw from the world and pour all of myself into my art. This winter I have been in a better mood than I have any previous winter, mostly because of the combination of St. Johns Wort, vitamin D, getting better at handling my emotions, and allowing myself to get ridiculously excited about little things. Last week I started to really miss my winter blues because it gives me an excuse to isolate myself from my friends and loves ones and focus on art, but now I'm realizing I don't need depression as an excuse to keep up with my art -- I just need to manage my time better and hope that my friends don't feel neglected when I turn them down just so I can do art.

Anyway, I did this when I started to feel a little sad about not being depressed this winter (I am a strange one, I know).

While I was painting it I realized I don't know as much as I'd like to about watercolor technique. Digital art has destroyed much of my ability with traditional medium, but digital still remains the cheapest way of creating art. For instance, I want to play more with watercolors, but I need more watercolor paper and I need new watercolors and I'm trying to save up money for my move which involves not spending money on unnecessary things (i.e. things that aren't food or rent). Also, I feel guilty when I create art and all it does is go straight to storage space. Anyone want something nice for their wall?

In other news, I've been realizing just how much geology inspires me artistically. I could go on and on about why, forever and ever, writing in caps to portray my overwhelming excitement for rocks, but perhaps I'll save that for another day. I've been in love with labradorite in particular for a few years now, ever since I worked for my aunt who etches designs into tiles. I wouldn't have learned about labradorite if I hadn't noticed it while I helped her clean off her tiles and I noticed how magical it looked, how much depth there was in it. I feel like every stone tells a story, but labradorite sucks me into it completely. Yesterday a good friend sent me a surprise package of rocks. I don't know many people who would get as excited as I did about getting a box of rocks. My favorite piece, of course, is the labradorite she put in it:

I just want to stare into it forever. It reminds me of the sky and sea and mountains and aurora borealis and stars and nebulae. I am in love.

fox mask

2011-01-06T23:51:00.007-06:00

Around the time that I was working on my fox woman painting and was so inspired by red foxes, I was invited to a New Year's Eve masquerade. It was immediately clear to me that I was to go as a red fox. I went to a few craft supply stores, but all of the pre-made masks were not up to my standards. I didn't want a cheap plastic mask that had eye-holes that were too small when I am crafty enough to make a custom fitted mask. So I bought some plaster gauze stuff that I could mold right to my face. I had fun trying to make faces at myself in the mirror while I waited for it to dry.

I was originally going to paint a design onto it and then glue a few sequins to it to bedazzle it up, but the plaster ended up not very smooth, so I opted to cover the whole thing with a grey fleece fabric, then glue sequins on in the design I wanted. Here's what it looked like pre-sequins and in the middle of making the eye holes:

The process of gluing on all the little sequins was very time consuming and meticulous, not to mention the vapors from the glue made me dizzy, but I enjoyed it, possibly because I was streaming many episodes of All Songs Considered. I started this project in the beginning of December so that there would be ample time to slack off yet still finish an awesome mask. Unfortunately, I slacked off on possibly one of the most important parts -- sewing on something so that it would stay comfortably on my head. Which means I threw together something the day of the party which ended up not holding it on my face very well, and so I wore the mask for, oh, say, 20 minutes or so. I kind of hate myself for this, but whatever. I'm sure I'll have another opportunity to wear it (masquerades happen all the time, right...? right?), and I will actually finish it then. Anyway, here is one of the only pictures of me wearing the mask, and I also happen to be wearing a 50 cent mustache from the grocery store:

ink + nudity

2010-12-16T16:08:00.004-06:00

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to do a photoshoot with two of my friends. I was a little worried it might be awkward to take pictures of them almost-nude, but it was a great time and a huge learning experience. I'm so used to using stock photos for reference that having two girls to pose any way I wanted was overwhelming. I wasn't prepared at all. I didn't know how to set up the lights, I didn't know how to pose them. I know now that brainstorming beforehand is a good idea. Even so, some of the pictures turned out great, and I wish I could share them on here, except I'm not sure if my friends would be okay with me spreading nude pictures of them on the internet.

I did, however, find time to sketch one of the photos. I've been rereading the Sandman comics, and it's really been inspiring me to break out my inks. It's been awhile, so I had remind myself how to go about the process. I got a little bit frustrated when I was doing the lines, and you can kind of tell with the crosshatching I started doing, but I'm still really happy with how this turned out and excited to do more.

the moment

2010-11-27T20:02:00.003-06:00

(click to image make larger!)

Painting this was a journey. It began with a very strong inspiration to paint a fox woman. For weeks the fox woman taunted me, bombarding my imagination. I knew I wanted to paint one, but I didn't know what the content or mood of the painting would be. I didn't know if it would be erotic or playful or serious. I didn't know what she would be doing or what she would look like.

Finally a week ago I found the time to paint. Free time is so scarce these days, but I had give the fox woman a home. So I started painting. I didn't know what I was painting, except that it was a woman, who happened to have fox-like features. For all of my paintings, even simple portraits, I create a story for it. This one had several stories throughout the course of painting it, until I settled on one. At first there was a dead crow instead of a dead fox. I even looked at pictures of dead crows for reference, which was terribly difficult for me, since death is a hard thing for me to face, and I am overly sensitive to things like blood and wounds. When I decided instead to paint a dead fox, I couldn't bring myself to look for reference pictures. I looked at a sleeping fox instead, and hopefully that will suffice.

I want so much to share the story that emerged in me for this painting, but even more than that I want for people to create their own stories without my influence. What do you think is the story of this painting?

abstractions

2010-11-12T21:07:00.005-06:00

I lied when I said I haven't been doing art. I have been doing random little abstract paintings, but I didn't think to post them until now.

This first one is inspired by satellite pictures of geological features. I subscribe to NASA's Earth Observatory image of the day because I am a geek and want to keep learning more about geology, but also because I think the world is beautiful. I love meandering rivers. Anyway, it's a highly textured painting, acrylics on canvas. Lots of gold paint. I used embroidery thread to create more lines and texture. Oh, and I guess it's somewhat inspired by the Virgin Mary paintings I learned about in art history.

These next two were a result of me wondering what would happen if I mixed watercolors with compressed charcoal. I like how the charcoal reacted with the water.

wave

2010-11-10T19:55:00.003-06:00

I don't have any new art to post, so I am going to share a piece of art that has been a huge inspiration to me for the last year or so. I wish I could paint something so beautiful.

Here is his/her DeviantArt page.

cuttlefish in love!

2010-10-29T12:44:00.002-05:00

I finished this a few weeks ago and forgot to post it. Eep! I got the pattern from here, and I finished it in a couple days at work. I think I need something more complicated to work on that will take longer to do.

octopus arms

2010-10-23T20:39:00.002-05:00

I got bored with this painting and didn't want to paint hands, so there you go.

Also considered putting a top hat on her, but it seemed like too much.

molten desire

2010-10-10T19:47:00.005-05:00

I had an itch to do an erotic painting. I reached a point while painting this when anything more I did to it just made it look worse, so I left it rather raw. I referenced the wonderful stock of Marcus Ranum, although I am wondering if I can convince any of my friends to get naked and do a shoot with me so I can have my own reference for future paintings. I bet I can.

2010-10-07T16:25:00.001-05:00

Art has been difficult for me lately because I want to paint very abstract feelings, and I can't quite seem to grasp how to translate that into something visual.

embroidery update, stat

2010-10-04T18:48:00.003-05:00

I started a new embroidery project a couple days ago that I'm very excited about, but it's a surprise, so I'm only posting a little macro shot of it!

Hint: it's really good at cuddling.

butterfly fly

2010-09-23T11:20:00.007-05:00

Months ago I found out about the Inspired Art Project that is being organized by America SCORES Milwaukee, which is a great non-profit that helps the inner city youth of Milwaukee. The goal of the project is for local artists to base a piece of artwork on one of the poems written by the talented children of America SCORES Milwaukee, and then the artwork will be auctioned off at the end of October and proceeds will go to the organization.

The poem titled "What I Have Inside Me" stood out to me:

I have a butterfly in me

That loves to fly around me

That cannot stop giving joy to me

That is bright like the morning sunshine

That always makes me happy.

I knew it was the one. Immediately upon reading the poem, I saw what I wanted to paint.

Then I waited three months to actually start it.

Until two weeks before the deadline. GAH.

I did not enjoy painting it. At all. When I am not painting for myself, a plethora of artist insecurities rise to the surface, and it is incredibly difficult for me to tap into the flow of creativity. This is something I obviously have to work on, especially since I've got a line-up of art I have to paint for other people right now.

Anyway, here's the painting:

I see so much wrong with it, but I can't work on it anymore or I'll go crazy. I am just calling it done and I will send it on its merry way. I'm disappointed in myself for not doing better and for donating a piece that I'm not proud of, but since I procrastinated so long there's not much else I can do.

LESSON LEARNED.

felix mas

2010-09-21T21:13:00.005-05:00

I've decided I'm going to start sharing inspiring art I discover. Who better to start with than Felix Mas.

I stumbled upon his art on this site (more can be seen there), and it is positively beautiful. It is the direction I envision taking my art -- a mix of abstract and realism, stunning colors, and lovely women with flowing hair.

flow

2010-09-03T18:20:00.004-05:00

For the first time in a couple weeks I finally had a solid chunk of time in my own space to paint, and I was so excited. I got a canvas and started slapping on paint, just following my artistic whims. On the canvas were some wavy lines which inspired what I wanted to base the painting on. What came out was looking a little ugly, so I painted over it, but that looked bad too, so I covered that up. I started to get frustrated because I had all this inspiration building up in me that needed to spill out, but it was not spilling out properly.

I ended up setting the canvas aside and decided I would just let it come out digitally. Because, damn it all, it needed to come out.

I had so much fun painting this. As soon as I moved it on to the computer, I loved every minute of painting it. I felt totally in the now the entire time I was painting. When I was traveling I learned how to live in the moment, but now that I'm working again I feel like I have to focus on the future in order to remain sane. I am not working for Present Rachel, I am working so that Future Rachel can move to the west coast. So does that mean I have to try to forget about Present Rachel and accept that I am going to be working a lot at a job that makes me feel really disconnected and gray, just so that Future Rachel can be happy? But now isn't now all that really, truly matters? Isn't now all that we have?

Too many questions, not enough answers. Fortunately, when I'm painting that doesn't really matter.

update!

2010-09-01T21:51:00.005-05:00

I painted this for a friend for her birthday. I finished it a monthish ago but couldn't post it until now because I didn't get around to giving it to her until today. I referenced a picture by Almudena Stock, who I've used as a model for a few of my paintings. She's got some really great stuff.

As you can see from the second work-in-progress picture, the eyes were originally going to be open, but it looked kind of creepy, so I've painted yet another picture of a woman with eyes closed.

eel woman

2010-08-09T13:10:00.001-05:00

Maybe finished? I don't know.

eel work in progress

2010-08-07T22:56:00.003-05:00

A week ago I went to Discovery World on the Milwaukee lakefront, and it was fun, although it didn't even compare to the Science Center in Los Angeles. In any case, there was an electric eel there, and seeing it swim around in its tank was strangely inspiring to me. Today I finally got around to starting an image based on that inspiration. Here is what I have so far:

passions and self-investigation

2010-08-06T11:36:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was very, very young, my goal in life was to save the world. Now I am a little bit more realistic -- instead of expecting to save the entire world, my goal is to positively impact the world, the environment in particular. I have always been aware of the harm humanity is doing to the planet we live on, and I have always felt an inner need to fight against this.

Since graduating high school I have been trying to figure out how I can most efficiently lend my skills to help the environment. This has led to a few dead-ends, like majoring in journalism and mass production my first year of college. It’s been very trial and error. Journalism just wasn’t for me.

So then I tried out environmental science. At the time I felt like I was lying to myself, and I always gazed wistfully at the people walking around campus with art portfolios. However, in retrospect, I probably got a little more excited about rocks and pond scum than the average person might. In any case, it was hard and, with the exception of my geology class, I felt stupid most the time. If I am going to devote myself to something, I want to be great at it.

So, after watching an episode of Oprah in which she said, “You need to find a way to get paid for your passion,” I switched to the art program. But this felt wrong too. Art has always been a very personal form of self-expression for me, and suddenly professors were defining what art is and telling me how to express myself.

For a few months I considered going to school for anthropology, ecological anthropology in particular, because I rock at social sciences and absolutely love studying and trying to understand different cultures. I was reluctant because I imagine there to be two types of anthropologists: one who works in a library of old, dusty books, and one who works out in the big, bright world, interacting with different cultures and writing ethnographies. I do not want to be a dusty book anthropologist, I want to be a participant observation anthropologist! But for someone who is naturally a little introverted and shy, this is incredibly intimidating. I would have to challenge my comfort zone on a regular basis. But beyond that, it seems like it would be extremely challenging to find a job like this, and even after I found it I wouldn’t make much money.

It’s fortunate I’m not returning to school for a couple years because if I did now I wouldn’t have a clue what I was going for, so I’m taking advantage of this time to investigate my innards and figure out what it is I am really passionate about, what I have strengths in, what I want to learn more about. What is it about science that is appealing to me? Chemistry, molecular biology, anything that is not readily observed by the naked eye is a little hard for me to wrap my mind around. I love learning about ecology. What specifically about ecology could I see me devoting myself to helping? Biodiversity. Yes, yes, yes, I am passionate about biodiversity, about seed banks, about protecting sensitive ecosystems from being engulfed by agriculture and industry, about keeping genetically modified plants off of this planet.

What else? I am passionate about community. Eating local, going to the farmers market or becoming involved with CSAs or community gardens. Unity of neighborhoods, people coming together to fight for the same cause. Grassroots organizations. Relying less on the government, less on corporations. Reminding people that they do have power, that they can make a difference. I think there are many great things about globalization, but the detrimental effects eclipse the good, unless we work on creating a stronger global community of people, not corporations.

Finding out what I want to fight for helps me figure out where I want to take my future. Again I am considering going to Evergreen, just so I can create a college education that best prepares me for what I want to devote my life to. I am not going to leave art by the sidelines, but I want to find a way to create art that does not also create more waste. I am going to focus more on creating art with recycled or natural materials, and I feel like this will lead my art toward the more abstract route, which makes going to college for art seem unnecessary to me.

Anyway, this is what I am going through right now. I am certain that whatever I do decide to do, I will still be able to meet my goal to make a positive impact. Any decision that seems "wrong" is only a decision that helps me learn more about myself.

feature in english now magazine

2010-07-20T12:42:00.007-05:00

An interview with me is in the April-May issue of English Now magazine, which circulates in over 40 countries. I didn't get my hands on a copy until now, and it's really exciting to see it.

It's a two-page spread, English on the right and a translation into French on the left.

My favorite part is where I'm grouped together with famous people like Will Smith, Kiera Knightley, and Hugh Jackman. At least three of the answers could be matched to me, but I'm assuming the right answer is E. :)

Here is the interview:

What is your first 'art memory'?
I have a distinct memory of my four-year-old self obsessively drawing elephants. My favorite part to draw was their toenails.

When did you realize you had real talent?
Probably around eighth grade or so, when people started praising my art, and art teachers began to encourage me to follow an artistic path. Although I did think I was pretty awesome at drawing elephants way earlier than that.

What is your favorite subject now? Is it still elephants?
No, I am definitely a portrait artist -- I can get lost in the landscape of someone's face. I also really enjoy figure drawing, although it's a tougher subject.

What is your favorite medium?
My favorite medium is digital art because I don't have to worry about the cost of materials, but I love to play with acrylics, ink, and watercolor. When I work in traditional mediums it's easier for me to fall into that flow of creativity where I can paint for hours and not realize any time has passed.

Have you had formal training?
Not much. I took some art classes in high school and college, but a majority of what I know about art I've learned from the internet. Internet forums have been crucial for my artistic progress.

How would you describe your style?
I paint from life and like to have a degree of realism to a painting, but in addition to that I like for there to be abstracted aspects of it. I like to think of myself as an abstract portraitist, without having to adhere entirely to the bounds of reality.

Where do you get your inspiration?
I am inspired by nature, colors, other artists, sunshine, music, and little things like the curve of a violin and the way the light shines in through the window in the morning.

How would you encourage a beginning artist?
Be receptive to what other people have to teach but more importantly follow your own creative whims. Do art for yourself and not for other people.

What are your plans for the future?
First, try to recover my inspiration after a few months of being blocked. Once that minor thing is out of the way I plan on reopening my Etsy shop online and selling prints again, as well as seeing what other avenues I can follow in the art world. Ultimately, my main goal is to influence the world, either in a small or large way, with beauty and color. I want my art to make people feel, if even for a moment, what I felt while painting it.

landah scapah

2010-07-09T18:41:00.002-05:00

I decided I should probably try to develop other areas of my creativity by painting a landscape. The reference was a picture I took when I was in San Francisco, facing away from the Golden Gate Bridge.

I learned I do not enjoy painting foliage. Not at all. Although it may not look like it, it took me foreverrrrrr to paint the greenery in this picture. Maybe because I would paint it for two minutes, get bored and do something else for a little bit, then come back to it. I vastly prefer painting smoother things, like the human body or mountains.

Unfortunately, if I want to grow artistically I have to get out of my comfort zone. So expect more landscapeyness, and possibly more whining to go along with it.

fading light

2010-07-04T12:12:00.002-05:00

When I am feeling down I have the decision to either wallow in my pain or channel it into something productive. Whenever I channel my pain into a painting, it transforms the pain into something beautiful. I'm pleased with this one. It reminds me of my Birth of a Celestial Star painting.

I'm thinking about broadcasting my artistic process live on Livestream, which means anyone who wants to watch me paint can tune into my channel. The Livestream program slows down my computer a bit, so I would only want to do this during set times when I know people will be watching. If you are interested, please let me know.

female cardinals

2010-07-02T17:26:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Even though I have tons of free time, I haven't been feeling particularly artistic lately. I've been feeling too displaced to create art. I've lived in three different cities since returning to Wisconsin, desperately seeking an income in this ugly job climate. Every day I ask myself, "Do you regret traveling yet?" Even though I'm having a difficult time getting back into the swing of things for reasons outside of my control, even though I'd probably have a nice, comfortable life if I hadn't dropped everything to travel, I don't regret it yet. I hate the consequences, I hate the situation I'm in now, but I don't regret dropping out of school, leaving my job, and spending all my money traveling. I just have to remember that this like everything else is temporary.

So my creativity hasn't been coming easily. The other day I was sitting in the park watching some female cardinals fly around, and I loved their colors. All the attention usually goes to the male cardinals for their brilliant red, but the color pattern on the females is lovely too. I did a speedpaint of some lady cardinals.

prints for sale!

2010-06-13T12:18:00.001-05:00

I can be a very stubborn person. When I do art, I don't want to limit myself with standard sizes -- I want the canvas to be whatever size I want it to be. But when I started printing and selling my digital art, I didn't take into consideration that people like to be able to purchase a print and then slip it into any old frame they can buy at the store. They don't want to have to get a custom frame for it, especially since it's only a print. I recently took the time to standardize all of my digital art (sad time when you have to fit your art into a box), so I'm looking to clear out my old inventory of wonky sizes. I have a pretty big inventory of beautiful prints that won't look nice in standard frames, unless you don't mind seeing a little bit of the white around the image, or if you aren't opposed to the idea of taking out an exacto knife and cutting it to a good size. Heck, you could even decoupage it to a piece of wood or foam core and display it that way.

In any case, I'm selling these prints HALF PRICED for $10, as well as $2 shipping, unless you want to pick it up from me in person. Please feel free to check out what I have to offer:

Wisdom Lips, printed on 8.5 x 11 paper.

Of Sky and Sea and You and Me, 8.5 x 11.

Oceana, 8.5 x 11.

Stillness, 8.5 x 11.

The Temptress, 8 x 12.

I also would be willing to throw Of the Forest in for free in any order, simply because it's so old and I don't want it.

I also have Restraint, 8.5 x 11, and Red-Winged Blackbird, 8 x 12, but since I lost the print files for both of them with a broken computer, they are a limited edition of ONE. They are both stunning prints and since they are the first and last of their kind, I will not accept any less than $40 for them.

Please contact me at rakeuler [at] gmail.com if you're interested!

the woes of a poor, unemployed artist

2010-06-12T13:19:00.004-05:00

While I was traveling I created a majority of my art digitally, just because it was the most convenient. Now I am craving to paint in a more tangible form, but it's frustrating because traveling has left me rather broke, and I can't afford to buy canvases to paint on, plus the cheap watercolors I bought years ago have gone bad (I don't know how that happens, but the paints refuse to stick to the page, making it impossible to layer colors). Not only that but I'm in such a transitory state right now that I wouldn't know what to do with a bunch of finished paintings. I don't want to haul paintings around with me if I'm going to be moving again in the next few weeks or months, depending on how my future pans out.

It hurts to have visions piling up and no way to let them out. In any case, I have been finding some small outlets. I carry a small sketchbook and pens with me wherever I go, and I've been practicing doing really quick sketches of things I see. Here are a few of them:

I live right across the street from a lake. It's great.

And...because this entry does not have enough color, I'll share a picture I took of the sunset last night:

mr. beard of flowers

2010-05-28T12:36:00.004-05:00

I have all these things I should be painting, but I had a vision come to mind and I had to make it happen. I kind of want to make a series of paintings that are of men with weird beards.

art as a form of love

2010-05-25T08:31:00.002-05:00

I don't like getting/making presents for people on demand, so I usually don't. But that doesn't mean I don't like giving gifts, I just like to do it when I feel like the time is right, when I feel the inspiration.

I probably won't have an artsy update for a while (a week or so) because I am currently in the mood to just paint and paint and paint gifts for people I know, as a way to show them my love and appreciation. I'd post them on here, since some of them are turning out pretty cool, but I don't want to spoil the surprise. :) We'll see!

finished flight

2010-05-19T20:02:00.004-05:00

I finished the painting! I used some gold paint for some of the details because I love gold paint. I've also been working on making my own canvases out of wood to save some money. I had the gessoed wood on my mom's living room floor, when I noticed the beautiful morning shadows cast on it. The colors are from a stained glass piece hanging on the window.

flight

2010-05-15T20:01:00.003-05:00

I am absolutely, madly in love with Portland, Oregon. Portland is like a laid-back, artistic, open-minded guy who has totally stolen my heart. Even though I've moved back to Wisconsin, halfway across the country, I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I still daydream about him all the time, think about all of the adventures we could have had if I had spent the summer with him. But he's unstable, he doesn't have a job, and moving back to be with him would probably be a dumb choice, unless I like being broke. Still, he has shown me what I want from life. I am going to spend the summer in Wisconsin to get myself back on my feet financially (while I don't regret traveling at all, I'm all out of money now), and then I am going to move back to the Pacific Northwest to give Portland's more mature brother Seattle a shot. Seattle is not as laid-back and indie as Portland, but he'll give me the stability I need. I am not sure if it will work out, but I am willing to try it out. Maybe Seattle will be enough for me to move on from Portland, although I know there will always be a place in my heart for him.

So yeah. I left LA a week ago. I knew I wouldn't like LA before I even got there, but I didn't expect it to be intolerable. Rather than write everything I dislike about it, I will refer you to the Death Cab song Why You'd Want to Live Here, which sums up my feelings pretty nicely.

I've finally started creating art again after about a month off from it. I have been painting on canvas for the first time in five months, and it's been wonderful. Here are a few of the progress shots of the acrylic painting I'm working on.

Thanks for looking!

poll!

2010-05-01T16:40:00.001-05:00

I'm gearing to reopen my Etsy shop this summer, but before I do I want to figure out what I'm going to put up and if there is an interest for it. I've been doing a lot of research and a lot of asking people what they want. There's no point in putting something out there when there's no market for it.

If you have a minute, please check out this poll I've set up and give me your input! Thanks!

a change of scenery

2010-04-21T10:41:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts -- in the past week I've relocated from Portland to a part of Los Angeles, which included a road trip down the stunning west coast. I've seen some of the most beautiful things in my life: majestic redwoods, winding teal rivers, the crashing waves of the Pacific ocean, and the gorgeous mountains of Oregon and California. I'd post pictures but I'm pretty sure everyone who follows this blog is also friends with me on Facebook.

I miss Portland. I'm trying not to judge LA too soon, but I know it's not a city for people like me. Wisconsin raised me to be ashamed of who I am, and Portland was a place where the parts I had always stifled in Wisconsin were suddenly encouraged and celebrated. In LA I've been feeling that shame again, that fear of being myself. Still, it's not as bad as Wisconsin, so I'm going to give it a shot. It's only temporary anyway.

Anyway, I didn't do any art during my travels and haven't done anything since arriving here, but I'll post something I started before I left.

This is the work in progress. When I am brainstorming an art piece, I often think of a theme and then try to work with that theme. For this one I wanted to paint a woman who was inspired by hawks. I ended up changing a lot of it, including taking out the bright purple.

Here's where it's at now, not totally finished, but I don't feel inspired enough by it to complete it. It looks okay, but it doesn't have the energy that it did when I first started painting it. It looks very boring to me. I might just start another painting, and if I ever feel like finishing this one I will, but for now I'm putting it aside.

In other news, my self-portrait got an honorable mention in the contest I entered it into. Good enough for me!

2010-04-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

You can now become a fan of my art on Facebook! It's a great way to keep track of what I'm doing and show your support.

lady with mustache and monocle

2010-04-08T01:23:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I'm not really sure why I paint the things I paint. That is not the case with this one.

rabbit woman

2010-04-04T17:25:00.005-05:00

I wanted to do a painting that had an overload of bunnies in it. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of Easter -- I can't say. Anyway, I wanted to try out something a little different. I'd say color schemes are something I struggle with a lot, so I wanted to do a very subdued color scheme, much like Audrey Kawasaki or Amy Sol (both happen to be two of my favorite artists -- check out their stuff if you haven't yet).

At first I was going to do heavy lines, something I did in my art when I was younger (for example, this hideous piece), but lines take a lot work and I'm too much of an intuitive painter to roll that way anymore. I decided to paint the image in and do some messy lines later.

This is the result. It might need more bunnies or maybe something on the right side (although I kind of enjoy the negative space). It looks very storybook, which I like, but when I look at it with Eastery thoughts in mind, it looks like an Easter-themed image. So if you just got home from an Easter gathering with family, please leave behind all thoughts of Easter and then look at the painting.

Also, looking at references for this painting made me want a bunny very much.

confinement

2010-03-29T18:48:00.005-05:00

I returned to Portland a few days ago, earlier than planned. I've been depressed since coming back. It's been difficult for me to transition from being nearly alone on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, where all I could hear was a stream and the wind blowing through evergreen trees, to a big, bustling city where there is so much noise and so many people. It's overwhelming. It's also hard when I feel like I have no purpose in Portland -- no job, no school, no long-term goals. This is just a resting place, but it still feels like I've taken a step backward. Even so, I'm going to keep looking for more farms I'd like to visit.

Anyway, yesterday I decided I should channel this depression into something more productive than sitting around eating ice cream and watching stupid shows on Hulu. So I painted this:

I did not want to get caught up in technique or anatomy or trying to challenge myself artistically -- my only concern was channeling my emotions and portraying the feeling of being confined by one's own emotions. I am very pleased with the outcome.

wilderness

2010-03-17T02:19:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow (or technically...today) I'm jumping on a Greyhound to northern California to start WWOOFing. Not sure how much internet connectivity I'll have, nor am I sure how much time I'll have to do art or how inspired I'll be. I'm really not sure what to expect, although isn't it better not to have expectations anyway?

cupcake and me

2010-03-09T23:16:00.004-06:00

I found a self-portrait contest on DeviantArt, and I figured I might as well give it a shot since I love painting myself. I wanted to make it more creative than a traditional portrait -- I wanted to inject some part of myself into it so that it screamed Rachel. At first I was thinking I could paint a portrait with a nature theme, but no interesting visual ideas came to mind. In the end it seemed best to portray my INTENSE LOVE OF PASTRIESSS.

I've been reading up online on other artists' digital techniques, and I've noticed a few lay down the image in black and white first so that they can focus on composition and values without having to worry about color. Trying this out with this portrait was extremely helpful, especially since there were such strong shadows.

I'm not sure if I'm entirely done. The contest doesn't end until April 10th I believe, so I am open to any constructive criticism so I can make this really great.

blossoms unfolding

2010-03-06T01:49:00.003-06:00

Listening to the live Muse album while painting this was mind-blowing. This is why I don't feel any desire to do drugs.

Also, I made my boyfriend write a haiku for it:

Blossoms unfolding

Spring has come, I dance with it

Pulling myself out

warm light

2010-03-04T02:24:00.003-06:00

I started painting this morning and decided that I would finish it before the end of the day so that I wouldn't get caught up in little details and could instead focus on the big picture. It was actually pretty fun working that way. I enjoyed the challenging lighting. Although I could have probably made the panda cuter.

my thoughts on evergreen state college

2010-03-02T21:44:00.007-06:00

I went on a short trip to Olympia, Washington, to check out Evergreen State College, a progressive liberal arts college that I've been interested in for a couple years. I went for an informational session, campus tour, and got to sit in on one of the classes. At first it seemed too good to be true. It is a really impressive school. Basically, you take one 16-credit interdisciplinary class per quarter (which sometimes can last up to three quarters) that is taught by 2 to 4 different professors. To me interdisciplinary classes just make more sense in terms of learning and preparing for a career because life is interdisciplinary. The entire campus is committed to sustainability, has composting and recycling projects, its own organic farm, biodegradable plates and utensils in the cafeteria, wind power -- the list goes on and on. There are no majors -- independent thought is encouraged. They have a very good environmental studies program, and they don't make you choose between art and science, which is a struggle I have been having since my first year of college. For example, one program they have is called "Drawing from Place." In the program the students study a local watershed and its history, communities, and ecology, keeping an illustrated field journal throughout. Also, their school mascot is a geoduck, which is a strange creature that I did not know about until my tour. (Google it. It's weird/awesome.)

All sounds great, right? I'd love to tailor my own education like that, and I think it would be an excellent place to attend if I want to pursue a career in ecology, yet still keep in touch with my creativity.

The only downside, which is a rather big downside to me, is that [practically] everyone on campus is so like-minded. They are all very similar to me -- idealistic, environmentally-conscious, liberal. I think college is a place where one should be exposed to a radical variety of people who challenge and broaden your way of thinking. Maybe it's because I grew up in a conservative little farming town in Wisconsin where people picked on me because I was vegan, but I'm used to constantly having to defend my way of living and thinking, which helps me explore why I am the way I am and why I make these decisions. But maybe it would be helpful for me to surround myself with people who encourage my way of living -- I don't know.

I still need some time to think about it. I don't want to attend for another two years, so I've got time to decide whether or not it's a college I'd like to graduate at. I'm being cautious because I want the next school I attend to be the one that I finish at. I'm done with all this transferring and dropping out jazz.

As far as my near future is concerned, I am going to start WWOOFing in two weeks! On March 17 I will be on my way to the mountains of Northern California. Exciting, isn't it? (More like absolutely terrifying!)

woman in paradox II

2010-02-25T00:42:00.001-06:00

I decided to go back to this piece and rework a lot of it. I wanted to integrate the figure a bit more with the background. I'm much more pleased with this version.

kitty girl

2010-02-22T00:57:00.003-06:00

I've recently started watching a lot animes on Hulu, and it's been making me want to draw with an anime-inspired style. MUST. RESIST. I've been drawing since I could hold a crayon, but anime was what got me seriously hooked on art, back in sixth grade when I would run home from school every day so I could watch Pokemon. Eventually I reached the point when I decided it was time to evolve artistically and wean myself off of the anime style. Normal-sized eyes, nonpointy noses, shorter limbs. It took a couple years to train myself to draw more realistically.

So naturally I feel guilty for wanting to draw something anime. Still, with the above painting that I finished last night, I decided to stray very slightly from realism and give her unnaturally large eyes. Oh...and kitty ears and a tail.

woman in paradox

2010-02-16T22:34:00.003-06:00

I was looking through some of my older artwork, and I was inspired by this piece in particular. So again I used some of Marcus Ranum's great stock as reference. The entire time I was painting it I was trying to decide whether she was at the height of ecstasy or the height of pain. At this point it looks more like a dark, emotional painting than a happy-go-lucky one.

Every once in a while it becomes glaringly obvious how little I truly know about art. There is so much to learn, and sometimes I get frustrated and a little discouraged by how little I know, but right now I'm just eager to learn more and as much as possible. At the moment I'm focusing on color theory, which is so damn complicated. Who knew?

reclining nuuuude

2010-02-09T23:33:00.004-06:00

Inspired by Ingres' "Grand Odalisque." Ever since seeing that painting I've wanted to paint something like it. It was a quick paint -- I worked on it while listening to All Songs Considered and This American Life on NPR podcasts.

random sketches

2010-02-06T19:38:00.003-06:00

Here are a few examples of the art that I've been doing in the little sketchbook I brought with me. I've been using watercolors and ink, and it's hard because the paper is far from watercolor paper. References: here and here. Sometime I'll draw something that's neither naked nor a lady.

mmm...hiking

2010-02-05T00:02:00.003-06:00

The city of Portland is pretty much exactly as I had heard it would be. Lots of hobos, lots of rain, lots of art, excellent public transportation (I love the light rail), environmentally-friendly, hipsters, no jobs. No surprises there. I like Portland, but I didn't come to the Pacific Northwest for the city.

I've been checking out a lot of the parks nearby, starting with the ones that are within walking distance or reachable within the free rail zone. Over three visits I've spent about eight hours in Washington Park, and today I've discovered the Marquam trail, which is a short stroll from where I'm staying. I am in love with the environment here. Absolutely madly in love. Ever since my visit to Vancouver, BC, two years ago, the Pacific Northwest has had me hooked. When I am hiking here I simultaneously feel like a kid in a candy store and a Buddhist monk meditating in the Himalayas. I feel excited and energized and joyous and introspective and centered.

Before I came here, I was worried about the rain and the cloudiness. Although it's probably too soon to judge, so far my seasonal affective disorder hasn't been as bad as it was in Wisconsin. Hiking on a cloudy winter day in Wisconsin was depressing because everything is so colorless and dead. Here, the forests are lush and brimming with life. The weather is so temperamental, and believe it or not, I love it. If I wake up and it's sunny out, I can't just say, "It's a sunny day today! I'll go for a hike later," but instead I have to live in the moment and go out when it is sunny because I know it won't be permanent. I love the random showers and the mistiness.

If the city forests can make me feel this way, I can't even image how the country forests will make me feel. If the Pacific Northwest winters make me feel this way, I can't imagine how the summers will make me feel. I have found paradise.

And I can hardly post without at least leaving you with a picture. When I went to Vancouver, I got really excited whenever I saw a bridge and would demand a picture of me on it, and this trend has continued through the past two years. During my hike today, I stumbled upon a small bridge that led over a trickle of a stream, but I still got excited about it. Since there was no one around to take a picture of me, I decided I'd take a picture of myself. Does the excitement show? (Also, like my raincoat? I tried it out for the first time today! I also layered just like my mom taught me. :)

doctor what?

2010-01-25T20:02:00.005-06:00

Finished my David Tennant fan art. It was a challenge because he makes funny faces, and because he's a man and I typically only paint women. Even so, I want to do more.

2010-01-19T23:46:00.005-06:00

I've been in Portland for about ten days now. I've been sick for the past seven days. I'm finally starting to recover, thankfully, and I'm ready to jump back into my adventures.

The only art supplies I brought with me, other than my Wacom tablet, were my watercolor paint, some black pens, and a small sketchbook. I miss my art supplies. When I'm not working digitally, I tend to be very mixed media, so I like to have a lot of different supplies on hand. I feel so limited with just watercolors and pens. I wish I had some acrylic paint and glue and my trusty gold marker.

So tomorrow, I am either going to go to Powell's Bookstore, which takes up an entire city block and is four stories tall, to buy a book on art marketing, or I will go to the art supply and splurge on some items.

little bird

2010-01-16T16:11:00.002-06:00

I wanted to focus more on design elements with this one. The last several paintings I've done have been of women with their eyes closed or cast down. I will probably break this trend... after I've finished my David Tennant fan art.

I was tempted to use this as the reference picture. Seriously, if you're ever sad look at a bunch of Doctor Who screencaps with Tennant. He will make you instahappy.

2010-01-08T12:11:00.003-06:00

I didn't think I would finish her when I got to Portland, so I quickly finished this morning. I'm very pleased with the outcome -- the hair and the scarf remind me of the ridges rivers carve into rocks and landscapes. I hope I will still have the desire to work on it more after the move because right now I have many ideas of all sorts of things I could do to it.

This little bird is flying away from Wisconsin early tomorrow morning. My last month here could not have gone better -- I was able to say good-bye to most of the people here who have made an impact in my life in some way or another in the last several years. I am very anxious and excited right now, and I hope only that I am able to keep myself open to all of the people and opportunities that are presented.

a sneak peek at current WIP

2010-01-04T13:39:00.002-06:00

She'll have a mouth, I promise. Working on skin tones, but forgetting about dynamic poses.

awesome finds

2009-12-28T08:43:00.004-06:00

I had a perfect holiday, which involved ample sewing. I sewed bunny pillows for my nieces, and when I finished that I started on my mustache cowl so I could keep my face warm. The mustache cowl is something that everyone wants when they see it (maybe not everyone, but everyone cool at least). I ended up making one for my sister-in-law and another for my brother, and I got several more requests. I wish this was my idea because then I would profit greatly off of it, but unfortunately it was one of those things that I saw and thought, "I can make that!"

In my mom's sewing box there was a small container of old Singer sewing machine feet. For someone who has only seen the standard foot and the buttonhole foot, this was ludicrously exciting. I had no idea what any of them did, but I did know that they looked way cool. Just look at my favorites!

shedding my skin

2009-12-24T11:55:00.002-06:00

I'm officially homeless and unemployed. I moved out of my apartment in Milwaukee yesterday, and my roommate was interested in keeping my art up so the walls wouldn't be stark. When I left, the place looked like an art gallery.

I'm at my mom's for the holidays, and her apartment is also a bit of an art gallery. My goal is to keep all of my paintings from going into closets or storage. My art is made to be seen.

2009-12-21T15:15:00.002-06:00

I spent all day today packing my room (as well as finish sewing Christmas presents), which is apparently not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm exhausted. Buried behind piles of canvases was this one:

It's unfinished, and I'm pretty sure I quit painting it because there were a few obvious mistakes that I wouldn't have been able to fix unless I painted over half of the painting. But when I pulled it out from behind the other canvases, I was stunned when I saw it. I love the colors and emotion in it. In addition to the other things I have been trying to stay on top of, I've been studying for the art history final tomorrow, and this painting is so impressionistic. And the Impressionists didn't put as much emphasis on anatomy, so it doesn't matter that the anatomy is off.

endings and beginnings

2009-12-19T09:56:00.002-06:00

Instead of posting this and saying everything I think is wrong with it, I've decided to simply tell you the story behind it.

This drawing, done with compressed charcoal, was my final project for my drawing class. I had the hardest time thinking anything up -- we had to draw a picture that represented ourselves or something about ourselves or a memory of ours, and a self-portrait had to be somewhere in the picture. Immediately I thought birds. Birds, birds, birds. But how?

I ended up drawing this very static composition. Me, in front of a window, out of which you could see mountains and a flock of birds soaring through the air. Birds, to me, symbolize freedom. Flight. Being in the air, free from constraints.

In a few weeks I will be flying out to the Pacific Northwest. Beyond that, I have no plans. Why am I doing this? The easy answer I've started giving people is that I'm going there for fun. The real answer is much more complicated, but it's not something I want to get into on here. So I will give the answer between the easy and the real. I am quitting my job and dropping out of college for the third time because I realized that I had gotten stuck in my comfort zone, and I was no longer living my life -- I was coasting through and blocking off other more frightening opportunities. So now I am leaving my comfort zone, and I am going to spend some time living in the moment, breathing the mountain air, hiking to my heart's content, and painting, painting, painting. I am going to explore the coast, but most importantly I am going to explore myself. Not to mention I am going to be young and stupid because now is the time that I can get away with that.

Wish me luck.

russian constructivism project

2009-12-10T22:10:00.006-06:00

As mentioned before, my final project in my digital art class was to use Illustrator to make a Russian Constructivist-inspired poster and base it on a quote by Marshall McLuhan. Here's what I've got so far:

My excitement for the project died away as procrastination set in. It didn't help that I had no clear images in my mind about where I could go with it. So this is what I've got. It's not as blatantly Russian Constructivist as I'd like it to be -- I feel like this is the kind of project where you can go crazy, and I played it safe.

In other related news, lately, without being to help it, I have been pretending that my art classes are like the show Project Runway, and every project is a contest that I have to win. Halfway through working on this project, I felt like Tim Gunn stopped to glance at it with that disapproving/uncertain look of his and said to me, "Make it work." (For some reason, pretending my art classes are Project Runway makes me want to continue going to school for art.)

Anyone have any suggestions on how to make it more Russian Constructivist?

thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:42:00.003-06:00

I don't think turkeys actually look anything like this.

I've never been much of a fan of Thanksgiving, seeing as how I've been vegetarian for almost ten years, which means that it has usually been a time of starvation rather than completely engorging myself. I also don't care much for the history behind Thanksgiving. But I love being with family, and any event that means I get to see my family is a great event in my book.

ink wash

2009-11-25T10:58:00.002-06:00

I really wanted to skip my last class before Thanksgiving break, especially since it goes until 9:30 PM, but even more than that I wanted to do ink washes. I'm tempted to polish it off, but I kind of want my first one to look worse than the rest so it looks like I'm making progress.

tangled up in blue

2009-11-24T17:47:00.003-06:00

I may or may not have been listening to Bob Dylan while painting this. I spent like 10 minutes on it, which may explain why the thumbnail looks like crap.

pair of pears

2009-11-23T11:05:00.002-06:00

So far this semester my digital art class has been rather unenlightening because we've been using Photoshop, which I have been using since 8th grade. The only challenge for me so far in the class was figuring out how to use the Mac computers in the lab. (No right-click? What? How?)

Finally we're getting into Illustrator, a program completely new to me. Last class she had us trace a simple photograph of pears, and since I finished before everyone else I made it a little more interesting:

I have been enjoying Illustrator. I'm not sure how I could integrate it with my artistic style, but I'm excited to play with it more. The final project in the class is to design a poster in Illustrator inspired by Russian Constructivism and based on a quote by Marshall McLuhan. EXCITEMENT.

masked

2009-11-22T13:31:00.001-06:00

I've been wanting to paint a masked woman for a while.

sun shines

2009-11-21T10:56:00.001-06:00

I would have spent more time on it, but it's sunny outside for the first time in days and I want to absorb it.

SNAIL

2009-11-19T18:03:00.000-06:00

lips

2009-11-18T21:04:00.001-06:00

Lips?

lady, lady

2009-11-16T17:52:00.003-06:00

What a long day. :(

Note: I have a love/hate relationship with bokeh. I think it's a highly overdone fad, but...it's purdy and I like it.

self-portait dos

2009-11-15T22:03:00.005-06:00

Another assignment for my drawing class. I thought I was done but now that I look at it, I realize I can do much better. I just got really tired of cocking my head. And wearing a scarf. I'll probably rework it more tomorrow.

I've been trying very hard not to get a huge creative ego because it would be very bad for my art, but for two critiques in two different classes, the professors only said good things about my pieces, instead of tearing them to bits. For a while I was high on it, being like, "I'm perfect. I do everything right." Then I had to gently remind myself that I'm taking intro art classes with people fresh out of high school. I have much more experience than them, and the professors don't have huge expectations. I am a good artist, but I still have room for improvement. I have to constantly challenge myself and learn new things about art. It's one thing to be confident about my art -- it's entirely different to let the ego get in the way.

heart

2009-11-14T10:43:00.001-06:00

This is what one paints after five hours of sleep before an eight-hour shift. It looked better before I inked it.

use your feets

2009-11-13T15:31:00.004-06:00

I forgot to paint today, so I'm posting what I made for my digital art class. We were supposed to make an image that relates to the broad field of ecology (human or environmental) and either incorporate it into a mural or a billboard. I'm pretty anti-commercialism, so I knew the billboard was out of the question, but I love stencil graffiti, so I made this.

It says "Reduce your ecological footprint -- use your feet."

fox + red

2009-11-12T16:13:00.003-06:00

Chemistry is beating me this semester. In trying to keep my head above the water, I decided to rewrite my notes so that they are colorful. We'll see how well that works.

For today I painted a fox, which is red. I used watercolor, ink, and some gold paint. If it looks silly it's because I painted it while watching Ellen. I didn't notice until now that the red parts look like blood. I don't mind.

t-rex

2009-11-11T21:24:00.001-06:00

They have small eyes.

mug a mug

2009-11-10T22:22:00.002-06:00

I've been getting really into drinking tea, not because I care much for how it tastes but because I love how relaxing it is to drink it.

self-portrait

2009-11-09T19:20:00.003-06:00

This counts for painting-a-day even though it's not a painting. Because there are no rules in self-challenges. :)

It's a self-portrait for my drawing class, done with compressed charcoal. I love doing portraits -- I enjoy getting lost in the landscape of someone's face.

hmmm?

2009-11-08T18:30:00.001-06:00

Yes yes yes no yes no no no yes no yes yes.

speedpaint VI

2009-11-07T08:42:00.003-06:00

What more is one to do with only 15 minutes to create?

speedpaint V: elephante

2009-11-06T14:43:00.002-06:00

Today was a lazy day. But I made something, right?

speedpaint IV: fennec fawkes

2009-11-05T17:55:00.004-06:00

Get it? Fennec Fawkes?

I don't know anything about Guy Fawkes and I've never read the V for Vendetta graphic novel, however the movie is brilliant, and every time I see it I'm inspired. Brings out the anarchist in me. :)

painting-a-day: speedpaint III

2009-11-04T22:19:00.004-06:00

Many of my writer friends are participating in NaNoWriMo, which means that many of my friends are trying to pump out a 50,000-word novel in the thirty days of November. I have decided to challenge myself in a similar manner and paint a picture every day this month.

bird is the word.

2009-11-03T14:43:00.002-06:00

Speed paint II.